Santa Sux! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ugh.
The video game industry always has exploited any and all things that they think will make them money. Due to their love of swimming through giant bins of money, there have been some truly awful Christmas-themed games. Luckily, most of them flopped. Play them at your own risk and make a Christmas wish that games like these won’t ever happen again.
5. Elf Bowling(PC)
Santa takes his revenge on his overly-crude little helpers by using them as bowling pins. The elves constantly make stupid remarks like “Is that all the balls you got, Santa?” and one will sometimes moon you. Later installments of the series introduce Santa’s evil brother Dingle Kringle and various other simple gameplay types.
This game was cool back in 1999, but like Duke Nukem and Fruit Cake, it hasn’t aged well.
4. Home Alone (NES)
This made me put my hands on my cheeks and yell "AHHH!"
The NES seemed to have a game for every movie that was ever released. Enter the John Hughes’ classic Home Alone. The movie was kind of funny, but the NES game seemed to exchange humor for frustrating game play. The game takes place solely in the massive McCallister household, and you must set up “traps” (actually little boxes with pictures that are impossible to determine on them) around the house to take out the Wet Bandits.
If you got this for Christmas as a kid, I’m sure your holiday was ruined.
3. Daze Before Christmas (SNES)
Remember in the Santa mythology where he has to battle evil snowmen by throwing fireballs at them? In Daze Before Christmas, has to save Christmas by getting his presents back from bad Frosties. When he drinks a cup of coffee, he turns into a gremlin-looking blue Santa that is invincible. It’s absolutely horrendous.
I wish that Santa’s evil nemesis, the Krampus, would take this game away.
2. The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (GBA)
Ahh. A terrible movie. A terrible game. In this game you get to play as Tim Allen battling Martin Short. The only satisfaction you can get from this game is by imagining that you can stop the movie by throwing poor Tim Allen off a cliff. The question remains, can Tim Allen star in a good video game? You may remember the terrible Home Improvement video game on the SNES.
Don’t watch the movie. Don’t play this game.
Saving the Earth is in the bag!!
1. Santa Claus Saves the Earth (GBA)
There is an evil fairy that wants to destroy the Earth. Who do we call? Superman? Will Smith? Harrison Ford? How about Santa Claus? Old St. Nick has to swing his magic sack around ponderously to defeat enemies. Whoever made this game obviously hated the Holidays.
My advice to you? If you see a Christmas-themed video game (that isn’t the Lemmings: Christmas Edition), dash away, dash away.
If you want a snowy, awesome Christmas game, play Skyrim and make a character that looks like Kris Kringle.
