I was on The Google the other day and ran across an article entitled “How to snag a gamer girlfriend.”
Go look at the story. It’s an older story, but it’s not hard to find its sentiment all over the interwebz and in the thoughts of guys worldwide: The elusive girlfriend who’s just as obsessed with video games as they are!
This is not a real person. She's a robot. Image courtesy of motifake.com
As I contemplated the absurdity of this article, I felt the beginnings of a rant. So, what are these guys really looking for? A girl to sit beside them on the couch with glazed eyes and tiny Muncho crumbs at the corners of her perfect red lips? Her tongue would be peeping out, of course, to show her concentration. (HOW SEXY!) She’d never talk. Oh, no! She’s too busy helping you kick a$$ on Xbox Live, giving it to those terrible prepubescent British trolls that carry on a constant stream of chatter until you mute them. She’s a great sniper, berserker, puzzle-solver, or what-have-you.
Plus, don’t forget the fact that she’s probably wearing next to nothing, except maybe an old Mario t-shirt, a headset, and a big ole smile.
You don’t have to change your habits for her. You don’t have to stop wearing your paper-thin t-shirt from junior high. You don’t have to clean up your man cave/room/space. You don’t have to change!
You don’t have to…grow.
You won’t grow. You don’t want to grow. Growing is scary.
I’m not talking about “growing up” or “maturing.” There’s nothing wrong with gaming: video, tabletop or LARPing. But, where too many guys get hung up is on a jagged point named moderation. But, that could be a rant for another day…
(I picture myself on Conan’s throne with the desolate sky behind me. My axe is at the ready, but my weary chin rests on my clenched fist. I don’t have a beard, though.)
Back to the infantile projections of the porn-perfect gamer girlfriend!
You know it’s all fake, right? I’m not saying that there aren’t women out there who enjoy gaming. Nay! There are many just as obsessed with them as you are. Rest in that. But, don’t get hung up on it. Seriously.
I guess what I’m saying is to be realistic and be willing to change. Be willing to grow. Be willing to accept that any woman who shows an interest in you may have other interests. Most importantly, be willing to explore HER other interests.
Maybe you’ll surprise yourself. Maybe you’ll find you like other things, too.
What do you think? Am I way off base, here? Call me out in the comments. I DARE you!
I wish this girl was real.
I want to be this girl. haha
Gabrielle, I think you’re RIGHT ON POINT. There has to be a balance of interests in any relationship. And a genuine willingness to do what the other wants. I’d be more than willing to sit down all afternoon and play (as long as he’s patient enough to teach me), but only if he’ll put the controller down to go out and do what I want every now and again. Maturity, ftw.
I like that you mentioned that “How to snag a gamer girlfriend” has porn-perfect women. Like porn, these women aren’t a reflection of real people. The point of all these photos (and by proxy the point of all these women) is to service the gamer’s desires. This article is focused on finding a girl who’s only important qualities are “hot enough” and “gamer”
This is fan service because I think most people understand your primary quality in a potential mate ought not to be “gamer”. There are way more important things like “doesn’t hit me”, “I enjoy her personality”, “I want share my life with someone like her” or “good credit rating”.
Also, I’m going to stereotype gamers for a minute. I think Gabrielle is exactly right about growth. Gaming is a comfort; a safe place. It’s not challenging. While an individual game may be a challenge, it doesn’t challenge you to explore your own boundaries and perceptions.
And given how much of a challenge dating is when the desired criteria is “be female”, going out and finding the perfect gamer girlfriend isn’t very realistic.