Marvel’s The Avengers releases tomorrow, so I thought we could look back at the absolute worst members of the Avengers and hope that we never see them on film.
Stingray – Walter Newell is an oceanographer who builds a suit so he can be an underwater superhero. He’s like Aquaman, except that he has to put on a suit to be cool… and it doesn’t work well on land. Lame.
Two-Gun Kid – Matt Hawk (Or Matt Liebowicz) is a cowboy who captures bad guys in the Old West as Two-Gun Kid. After a time travel accident, he ends up in the modern day and joins the Avengers. Because the likes of Iron Man, Hulk, and Thor need a cowboy around.
Doctor Druid – He’s like Doctor Strange… but with Druidic powers and hypnosis and psychokinesis. How is this guy so terrible? Iron. Or more accurately, how his powers don’t work correctly in the presence of it. You could beat Doctor Druid with a skillet.
3-D Man – He wears a green and red suit. And 3-D glasses. He’s the amalgamation of the consciousnesses of two brothers. And everything about him is 3 times better than a normal human. And… let’s face it, his name is stupid.
The Vision – I may get a lot of grief for this, but I hate Vision. For a number of reasons. He’s a robot. I hate robots. He has like… every super power. He’s a robot that wears a cape. He’s in love with a witch. He has a jewel on his forehead. His outfit is ridiculously stupid. He was made by Ultron. He’s terrible. I keep hearing rumors that he’s going to be in an upcoming Avengers sequel. I hope not.