Catwoman’s Zipped Up on New #0 Cover

The justifiably mocked cover to this month’s DC’s Catwoman #0 has been changed.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the interesting piece of cover art, it was done in a style I’d declare to be somewhere between “Early Bella Broken Spine” (Yes, that’s a Twilight reference, but it’s justified here. Ok, I’ll put on the Cone of Shame. Shall we continue now?) and “Lumpy Space Portraiture.”

Here is a picture of the original cover as it was released for solicits by Guillem March.

Proportions be damned! Give it more curves! Image courtesy of Bleeding Cool.

Here is a picture of Catwoman as Lumpy Space Princess because the Internet exists for this stuff and for cats who can do unusual things like dress as princesses and play piano.

Somewhere a new fetish was just born. Image courtesy of Josh Rogers on The Mary Sue.

Here is the new cover by Adriana Melo.

I guess Bane broke more back then we knew during “Knightfall.” Image courtesy of Bleeding Cool.

Ok, ladies of the Internet’s hallowed geek corridors, we can all sit back on our laurels. Sexism is over. We won. I think I’ll get a Fresca.

Her cleavage is far less prominent, which, as we all know says, “Strong female character!” Because you can’t be a feminist with your chesticles all out and about.

I’m obviously being sarcastic here. As an outspoken lover of Power Girl, I think how a character is written is more important than its design. There can be a mindless sex robot who looks like Olive Oyl or one who looks like Starfire. Likewise for super genius takers of names and kickers of asses.

Taken as a whole, I can see why people approved the original cover. It is much more round than the revised version, and therefore fits the aesthetic better. But, let’s be honest, in an industry that can (coughcoughUSUALLYcoughcough) bend the rules of anatomy, this was just a bad illustration.

Her butt takes up no less than 70 percent of her body. At that point, it is considered an independent being and has the right to vote.  The leather is deeper into crack than any character on The Wire has ever been. (Honestly, I feel terrible for her dry cleaner.) Her breasts have obtained antigravity properties and are straining to go up, not out. It’s just a bad scene.

The new cover features an ass of a size that could probably traverse Gotham’s rooftops, a new face, and actual limbs. Though, even in the new one it appears that Selina Kyle is either a super yoga master entirely in control of her joints or… uh… I got nothing. It’s just a better illustration by any account. I prefer it.

But this new cover won’t change anything. Sorry to be a Cassandra, but you know it, too.

Pinups and fantasy girls in comics are nothing new.  And frankly, with few exceptions, I’m not too phased by it. Would that it were another way, but it isn’t. I will state my preference for more realistically proportioned women who don’t live and die by getting all up in a superheroes sweaty Spandex, but if I have to choose – I’ll take the latter over the former.

We can look at the new cover as a triumph of feminism in the comic reading population. But, I prefer to look at is as what it probably is – a company covering it’s hiney in response to fan outrage.

The fans and readers are mostly happy. The dilettantes, like me, are happy. DC is happy. Retailers are happy.

The only person who loses here is Sir Mixalot.