Tag Archives: Destiny’s Child

Who’s Coming Back to Music in 2013?

I’m not downplaying last year’s comeback albums (Soundgarden, No Doubt) but this year is shaping up to be a great year for them.

First off, we have the legendary David Bowie making a return to the music scene after a 10-year break with The Next Day. I’ve been waiting for Bowie to come back for a  while now, and I was starting to worry that it might not happen. Thankfully, it is, and judging by the first single, “Where Are We Now?”, the wait has been well worth it. But we all have to wait until March 12th to find out if that’s true.

Next, we have the triumphant return of the multi-talented Mr. Justin Timberlake. After doing some heavy duty touring to support his last album, 2006’s FutureSex/LoveSounds, and taking a few years to focus on his acting career (which included some hilarious appearances on SNL), JT is returning to music with a new album, The 20/20 Experience. The new album drops March 15th and is, of course, produced again by Timbaland. Seems like JT believes in “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.” Here’s to hoping he brings sexy back…again.

Third, pop-punk all-stars Fall Out Boy have reunited and are releasing a new album, Save Rock and Roll. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was saddened by their breakup in 2009 and wasn’t too overwhelmed by their music projects that followed. Pete Wentz really did nothing that impressed, Patrick Stump’s Soul Punk was good but not FOB good, and The Damned Things was enjoyable but didn’t quite equal up to the sum of its parts (it featured members of Anthrax, Fall Out Boy, and Every Time I Die). A return from Fall Out Boy to the music scene is more than welcome.

Last, but certainly not least, we have Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. It’s been five years since Dig, Lazarus, Dig was released and even though we’ve been somewhat satiated with Nick’s other works (Grinderman and soundtrack work), it just wasn’t enough. We needed some Bad Seeds to go along with our Nick Cave. And on February 18th, we’ll have it with Push the Sky Away.

But with all good things, we will almost unfortunately have to deal with some less than favorable things (to be nice). Destiny’s Child, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Cher, and possibly Britney Spears  are all making comebacks this year. Don’t waste your money, folks. Save it for a rainy day when better music is released, like the new Slayer album which is set to release this year.

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Celebrities Suck!

Every now and then I feel the need to vent about celebrities, how useless they are, and how much they anger me. This is one of those times.

Don't look up. God hates you.

Don’t look up. God hates you.

Recently, my girlfriend informed me that Kim Kardashian was pregnant by Kanye West. Ya see, I’m an atheist and I make no bones about it, so I don’t believe in God or the Rapture or any of that but I’m pretty sure if there is a God, he/she is disgusted and about to bring upon the end times.

Two of the most conceited, self-centered, arrogant, moronic, colostomy bags of people the world has ever seen are having a child?! Just shoot me in the face right now! This hellspawn will be the biggest d-bag ever and not even Satan will want anything to do with that abomination. And you know the three of them are gonna be talked about in every media possible. Topics like what ridiculous name they gave it, what unbelievable crap they buy it, and every little thing the despicable little jackass does over the course of its first year. This will be worse then when Jay-Z and Beyonce had a kid. Much worse.

And speaking of Beyonce, Destiny’s Child are apparently making a comeback. Let’s see, she hasn’t been in the news in a while, solo career had become kinda meh, and the other two girls weren’t doing anything at all and I’m sure needed money. So what better way to cash in and get back in the spotlight than to organize a comeback?

Seriously, who wears a hat like that?!

Seriously, who wears a hat like that?!

Yeah, let’s fill the airwaves with more of below sub-par, mediocre pop noise. I’m sure Jay-Z will produce it and make an appearance on the album so he can cash in too. Prepare yourselves for a repetitive flooding of soul-rotting pop music, one to two overly-priced tours, and a non-stop brain-bashing of media coverage. Build your fallout shelters now and just hang out until this is all over.

Finally, let’s chat about Kanye’s best friend, Taylor Swift. She has reached the point of celebrity where people care less about her music and more about who is dating and then breaking up with, which leads them to care about her music because she writes a new song each time she has a break up. This girl used to be a role model for you girls everywhere because she was considered wholesome and didn’t succumb to the pitfalls of celebrity, which is something impressionable girls need, right? Better than becoming mistakes of society like the Jersey Shore skanks. But now she’s no better than them. Celebrity got the best of her and now she is making her way through any and every male celebrity she can, gaining material for new music along the way. Eventually she’ll be alone and destitute, singing songs about her cats (because that’s all she’ll have left) and days gone by.

 

The definition of douche, Jared Leto.

The definition of douche, Jared Leto.

I think for her final album she should date Jared Leto for a while. Then they can both write songs about how much the other one sucks and see which album does better, critically and financially. I’ll pick up the Thirty Seconds to Mars album. Leto has become a self righteous douchebag, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t write some fantastic music.

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