Tag Archives: Joe Biden

It’s A Big F@#%ing Deal The Gaffe-tastic Guide to Our VP

I don’t like Barack Obama.  I am not a fan of his policies.  I believe his approach to the Office of President runs between inaction and overreaching.  His demeanor is condescending and insulting to his constituency. I need only one hand to count the number of times I have agreed with him on domestic or foreign policy with three fingers to spare.  The man who claimed a desire to work with both sides has instead created a political stand off.

I cannot deny however, that the President is a pretty great orator.  He speaks five word bursts and with the building intensity of a Baptist minister on the last night of a sweltering tent revival.  Though he has made a few gaffes Obama has come a long way from his “uh look” period.  He is a dynamic speaker in contrast to our last chief executive(there I said it).

The exact opposite can be said of our Vice President.  Joe Biden seems completely out of sync with whatever audience he is speaking to.  Biden gaffes as a way of life.  The only items concerning him in the news are related to his speeches.  I wait daily for reports of “can you believe he said that?” and the MSNBC defense of “I think what he meant was…”

If anything Joe Biden’s inability to make it through one speech or interview without cursing or having a Gary Busey style verbal meltdown has only made Obama look better.  Still I have to question the wisdom of keeping this guy on the ticket.

Here is a look at some of the most embarrassing things Biden has said:

Still Biden obviously shares my opinion of Barack Obama as a public speaker which he expressed to CNN in 2007

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,”  “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”


Here is another zinger:

“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.” –Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010

The video and quotes provided represent only a fraction of the numerous gaffes and missteps of our Vice President.  I won’t list them all as the space allotted would not begin to hold them. (By space allotted I mean the entire Internet.)

I am aware that some things are taken out of context and others overemphasized for ratings, but isn’t that all the more reason to ditch this guy?  The nature of our current divided media requires careful and well thought out rehearsed speeches.  This is the main reason most presidential press conferences do not allow a question and answer session.  Less chance of a hilarious mishap if you control the flow of information.

Changing running mates while seeking reelection is hardly the norm, but in Obama’s case I think we would all understand.  Someone needs to send Crazy Uncle Joe home where he can receive the care he needs.  Surely someone is tasked with ensuring he has had his pills and is grooming himself.  Obama can do better and so can The American People.

I think someone along the way has told Joe Biden that he is good in the clutch and comes off well when shooting from the hip.  I have to assume that person was either a Fox news producer or Andrew Dice Clay.

VP speech writer The Dice Man





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Who Will Do for Number Two?

With a primary season that is strangely enough still not over,  Mitt Romney has emerged the best worst choice for conservatives this election cycle.  There are many things yet to be done in order to officially anoint Romney the candidate of The GOP for the office of President.  The convention, the pledging of delegates, the endorsement and tons of other ceremonial crap no one really cares about followed finally by the selection of a running mate.

The selection of vice president can make or break a candidate.  Finding someone that holds your beliefs on one level, yet differs just enough to shore up key demographics is a tall order.  The phrase “drag on the ticket” was actually coined in reference to a poor running mate selection (no, long before John Edwards).

Vice presidents have steadily gone down hill during my lifetime.  I was born in 1981 and in a fairly short time we have gone from a VP that was elected president, to the guy who couldn’t spell potato(e), then Captain Planet, Darth Vader and finally the comedy stylings of Joe “Plugs” Biden.  In an effort to end this vicious cycle, I have a few Vice President recommendations for Mitt Romney.

In no particular order:

Bobby Jindal- Governor of Louisiana.  Young, up-and-coming and most importantly well-spoken.  No chance this guy would be out and about dropping bombs of verbal diarrhea every time you let him off the leash (Yeah talkin bout you Biden).  Jindal represents a new face of conservatism that is actually… brace for it… conservative.  He could shore up Romney with younger voters and those of us who have not forgotten Romney’s “evolving” opinions on many key issues.

Sen. Jim Demint- Fiscal conservative, Right to Work activist and yes I know Tea Party endorsed Senator from South Carolina.  Bottom Line on Demint is simple.  His inclusion on the ticket could  unite the GOP with its rebellious little brother The Tea Party.  These factions must unite before conservatives get “Ralph Nadered”.

Anybody except Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Jon Huntsman- These people sought to destroy Romney in the primary.  They cannot now make us believe that their vision has unified with his.  If any of these people are even in the running for the nomination then I would like to offer my broken desk chair or the empty pizza box from last night’s dinner  as alternatives.

Chris Christie-  governor of New Jersey, known for his  combative style and popular with Republicans across the country.  The only trouble with Christie is it would be difficult to tell who was number one.  Christie is so dynamic he may overshadow someone like Romney.

Beaker from the Muppet Show- Though he often appears frightened, Beaker has a reassuring nature that might convince us all that everything will  be okay.  The chances of an embarrassing soundbite are minimal.  Plus the lab coat makes him look smart.

Romney’s running mate selection will most likely add little value to the ticket.  He will probably not shake anything up with his announcement.  I hope he will consider any or all of the above suggestions.  Beaker may still be the best choice.



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Keith Olbermann and Other Things I Hate

I hate Keith Olbermann, but only because I have seen his show.  Over the 8 years that Countdown aired on MSNBC (which I also hate) Olbermann spewed bile and lobbed unsubstantiated charges at pretty much anyone not on the DNC’s Christmas card list.  He got into fights with Bill O’Reily (whom I also hate), his twin brother from the parallel universe of Fox News (which I also hate), and brought in fairly good ratings as one of the more angry Liberals on television.  Daily, Olbermann would look smugly into the camera and in that condescending tone that made him semi famous and unemployed by ESPN all those many years ago, declare someone for some reason “The Worst Person in the World”

Proving that journalism was the last thing on his mind and finding it more difficult to stay atop the ratings pile with a Democrat as president, Olbermann decided rather than betray his adoration for President Obama and comment on his administration’s mistakes and shortcomings (I’m looking at you Joe Biden…whom I also hate)  he would instead leave MSNBC.

Olbermann landed at Current TV the brain child of Al Gore (whom I would hate if he had ever been relevant) and other guilty rich men.  Current TV is openly progressive and strives to “shine a light where other networks won’t dare and boldly explores provocative subjects”.

As a host, Olbermann has always done whatever he pleased with no filter or standard on his show.  He made all editorial decisions and had final say over guests and how much he would let them speak.  When he did not get his way he would hold out, threaten to not go on, and insist that Rachel Maddow (whom I…oh you get the idea) change her hair style because only one of them could have it.  While that last one may not be true, the rest of the list is the Olbermann SOP and is widely and publicly discussed by his former employers.

So earlier this year when Olbermann refused to cover the Gop Primary season until certain undisclosed technical issues on his show were resolved, no one was really surprised.  Well except for Captain Planet and the self-loathing rich man’s club at Current TV.  These issues could not be resolved and last week Olbermann and Current parted ways.  Each issued statements blaming the other for the break- up of this partnership.

Al Gore said in his open letter to Current viewers:

“Current was also founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

So Olbermann behaved in the way he always does and Current is somehow only now taking notice.  Did they watch his show before paying through the nose for it to anchor their network?

Current TV did not buy a pig in a poke here. Olbermann is without a doubt always himself love or hate him (everyone remembers where I fall on this right?) Current tv has created a scenario in which I am forced to defend Keith Olbermann. You win universe.

As I was recovering from this thought, I was completely taken aback by the news of Olbermann’s replacment. Eliot Spitzer?!  Really?!  Where does he fall within the respect, openness, and loyalty to viewers?  As you may recall, Eliot Spitzer was the former  Governor of New York who resigned when it was discovered that he was, for lack of a better term, a huge whoremonger.  That is progressive, right ladies?

Maybe Current will fire Spitzer after auditing his expense accounts.  Maybe then they will hire Garfield the Cat and fire him for being lazy.

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