Tag Archives: Tomb Raider

Jesse’s Need for Speed

So, last night, I’m watching the series finale of Breaking Bad, and a shortened version of this comes on:

Good placement with Aaron Paul and whatnot. I mean, any fan of BB is going to perk up at the chance to see Jesse again outside of reruns. Not that it’s exactly Jesse, but…yeah.

Then, it occurred to me that Need for Speed is a video game I used to watch my brother play back in the day. I had completely forgotten about the game! Huh. That train of thought led me to remember all the train wrecks that were movies proporting to be adaptations of video games. Cautionary tale numero uno: Uwe Boll.

There are tons, and you know it.

Get outta my way, B*tch!

Get outta my way, B*tch!

Therefore, as much as I want Jesse to make it in a world without BB, I have some serious doubts if this is his chosen vehicle (Vehicle…get it? Pun-tastic!). Name one movie that was taken from a video game that was ANY good! Perhaps it’s my Monday morning drearies that are preventing me from coming up with anything good, but let me hazard to say that there aren’t all that many.

Maybe Tomb Raider. But, only if you catch me on a good day. Oh, and I’ll admit a certain nostalgic fondness for the first Mortal Kombat movie. It’s pretty terrible though. (Speaking of MK, I recently rediscovered Machinima’s web series! It’s refreshingly good. Seriously. Check out the second season starting here.)

So, what do you think, Cool Shippers? Will Need for Speed follow in the depressing footsteps of many of its video game movie predecessors? Or am I totally off base when it comes to my underwhelming opinion of the genre? Let me know in the comments.



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The Week in Geek: Aug. 3, 2012

One thing I’ve learned watching the Olympics this week is that it’s all about techn-geek (technique, get it?). That doesn’t really work, but I’m bad with puns. Here’s what you need to know to sound fascinating this weekend!

Avengers Babies! We make our dreams come true! Avengers babies! We'll do the same for you!

This is probably the only way to make AvX interesting – make it adorable. Image courtesy of Scottie Young on Deviant Art.

British gymnast Jennifer Pinches flashed the Nerdfighter sign before her routine, but that wasn’t the only nerdtastic moment from the ladies in leotards.  Mexican gymnast Elsa Garcia Rodriguez Blancas did her floor exercise to a Zelda medley.

Some tremendously disturbed and wonderful person created Goodnight Dune.

TJ is filling his custom world in Mutants and Masterminds with superheroes and intrigue and he wants to fill you in.

Some guy who has only ever seen the first 30 minutes of Jurassic Park wants to build his own. With live dinosaurs. Before you say it, no, Mike, we will not honeymoon there. 

Oh, Coulson!

Oh, Coulson, you old stalker, you! Image courtesy of krusca on Deviant Art.

Proving that sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason, a team of Russian scientists is working on the more than slightly unethical mission of making us immortal. What’s better is that they’re supposed to have it by 2045, comrade.

Proof that not only am a geek, I’m kind of a jerk.

Someone get a squeegee because the trailer for the 7th season of Doctor Who is out, and it’s making Whovian heads explode.

Making the joke that everyone else has made because I love me a bandwagon – the title for the X-Men: First Class sequel has been released, and it is not X-Men: Second Class.

Speaking of film developments and Dr. Who, ninth Doctor Christopher Eccleston has been tapped to play the villain in Thor 2. Before you get your panties in a twist, Loki will be there, and Rose will not.

They just ordered in schwarma.

Black Widow isn’t there because she’s out being a spy, not slacking like these Aven-jerks here. Image courtesy of Hallpen on Deviant Art.

Everyone needs an inspiration. J. Fortune’s was none other than the manliest man of mystery, James Bond.

Proving the nerds are more successful than normies, Todd McFarlane’s cover art of Amazing Spider-Man #328, featuring Spidey gut-busting the Hulk, sold at auction for a record $675,250.

Even though Bane sounded like he was narrating a particularly violent episode of Masterpiece Theater, I presume starring Dame Maggie Smith as the Tomb Raider (Armed only with withering comebacks no less! Admit it, you’d watch it.), it could have sounded much worse.

Felicity took a long look at Mitt Romney, and the longer she looked the more she found wrong.

J.K. Rowling has said the wizarding gene it dominant, but how to you explain wizards born to muggles or squibs? Biology student has it all figured out.

In a theme near and dear to my journo heart, Topless Robot, in addition to having a wonderful name, has a list of the 10 best journalists from comics.

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