Tag Archives: Walmart

Sucked into the Season

The Christmas season seems to start earlier each year.

True story: A week before Thanksgiving, I walked into WalMart to pick up some things. But, something was off. No, it wasn’t the sickening stench of the unwashed woman complaining at the top of her lungs or the Santa-in-the-off-season wannabe spilling off either side of his motorized shopping cart/Jazzie/ Hoveround. (By the way, I firmly believe Santa would NOT allow his butt crack to show. Very un-Christmasy. And I’m sure he waxes, amiright?)

It finally dawned on me that they were playing Christmas music! It wasn’t even Thanksgiving, and they had already decorated the registers, stringing garish tinsel from line to line.

Seriously?!

I was incensed. Thanksgiving is a great holiday, and here they were, skipping it completely! GAH!

Now, I’m sure there are a lot of you out there who have no problem with starting the Christmas season so early. To you I say, “Pffft!”

I was bound and determined not to let Christmas encroach until December. No decorations! No holiday shopping! And certainly NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC until December! I was resolved.

Everyone and everything was against me, though. Everywhere I turned, it was already Christmas! It didn’t help that I was part of a “Christmas In Downtown” event scheduled for Dec. 1, either. I allowed that to slide, though. I wasn’t responsible for having to practice Christmas carols! Totally didn’t count.

Then, all the crazy people started to post Christmas music on social media platforms! A lot of my job IRL is in social media, and I couldn’t escape it. Slowly, it started to invade my consciousness, and I thought nothing of the posts I was seeing. I was still mad about WalMart, though (I have standards, dang it!).

My final downfall? Muppets. Yes, that’s right, MUPPETS!

Take a look:

First of all, let me just assert that anyone who doesn’t like the Muppets is obviously a Nazi. Everyone likes the Muppets. That’s right, I said it. EVERYONE.

CeeLo Green is basically a Muppet to begin with, and his official Muppet-izing made him fit in all the more. Plus, who can resist a little “mahna mahna?”

And that was that! I was sucked into the season.

But, at least it was almost December; I almost made it.

What about you? Are you one of those early Christmas starter people?

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